Why Are We So Scared Of Being Alone?
It was around 3.30 am in the night or morning whatever you want to call it because I have no idea what to call it. I was preparing myself a mug of tea when this question, ‘Why are we so scared of being alone?’ hit me hard in the head. My urge to answer this ‘so out of the blue question’ was burning inside the same way the tea was boiling in the pan in front of me. Keep reading, my tea is almost done. I lift the mug and went straight to my room. I was sitting in the blanket waiting for it to get warm while I kept my tea mug in between the palms of my hands and took the first sip. The tea was perfect!
So, I began to think about the above question. For a while, I couldn’t come up with an answer. My tea was almost finished. I lit up a cigarette to keep my self busy in the world of my thoughts because I didn’t want to sleep before answering something or anything about the question, “Why are we so scared of being alone?” This is the second time I have written the same question for you. I want you to also think about it for yourself because there is a fifty-fifty chance of you agreeing with the version of my answer.
I was not in a very good place when my 4-years long relationship ended last year in March. It was a bad bad bad breakup, to be honest. Things ended on a very bad note. For a while, I couldn’t believe that it ended. After overcoming my denial phase I was back to my senses, made peace with the fact that yes, it was over.
With time I realized that it wasn’t the person I wanted back in life, but the feeling of being with someone again I craved for. I was scared of the fact that I am all alone now in a big city. All our life from childhood to the age when you leave your home and move to a strange city to pursue your higher studies we live under someone’s shadows. Do you remember how you felt when you went to college for the first time? You were alone, confused, and clueless about what was coming next. Now you are inside the college. You see so many unknown faces and that very moment anxiety, nervousness, sweaty palms and head, several other known and unknown feelings introduce themselves to you. You can feel something weird in your gut. You want to just end this day so that you can start again tomorrow, prepared this time. Anyhow, you take control of yourself and move forward towards your first class. I don’t know about you but it took me a while to find the right building where my first class was taking place.
My point is that you should remember those days when you were all by yourself and still you were able to do whatever it was you were trying to achieve. It can be attending your college for the first time or traveling alone on the train or asking your crush out. It could be anything. The point is that you did it even when you were alone. Being alone isn’t that bad. It’s a blessing in disguise.
When you are alone you have the chance to see what you really are or what you are really made of. Believe me, the day you decide that you don’t need anybody in your life to make yourself happy and fulfilled, there is no going back. There will be nothing stopping you. You will see yourself in a new light.
All I am saying is that you should not crave the urge of being with someone or there should be someone in your life in every aspect of your life. Because if you look around then you will find that you aren’t alone. You have your little broken but beautiful family, few really close friends, and of course, your loving pet ( a dog or a cat or a single fish in the bowl). If that single fish can live in that stupid bowl all alone then you clearly are in a very much better place. It’s just us who don’t pay much attention to the people around us, instead, we crave escape.
I don’t know if this has even answered the question, all I know is that being alone is the best feeling in this world. With time you will see your worth and find new things about yourself. You will feel more confident and outgoing and happy like most of the time. Of course, it would need a lot of practice before you can fully inherit it inside you, but the process will be life-changing. This year try giving yourself your own time, some good ‘me time’. Don’t rush for anything. You will get that job you always wanted. You will pass your exam. You will find true love. You will exactly be in the place where you always wanted to be. It’s all about ‘YOU’. Be patient. Later!